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SARAH’S STORY

READ SARAH’S STORY

We interviewed Sarah about her personal experience of having an abortion. This is her story.  

 

What were some of the reasons you were considering abortion? 

 

Women who have abortions come from all walks of life and many different circumstances. This is my story. I didn’t really date much in high school; but my senior year I met a guy I thought that I was “in love” with and he was “in love” with me. I became pregnant the summer after I graduated high school when I was 18 years old. My boyfriend didn’t want anything to do with having a baby and I felt alone and ashamed of the circumstance I had gotten myself into. I didn’t want to hurt my parents and burden them with this “problem”. I felt alone and scared and I just wanted out of the situation I was in. Abortion is what I chose to do because I could just get my life back to “normal”. I was enrolled for college in the Fall and a baby didn’t fit those plans. For me, the biggest reason I considered abortion was to cover up the fact that I got pregnant in the first place.  

 

What were you feeling as you were processing the decision to have an abortion? 

 

I felt scared, alone, ashamed, hopeless, abandoned by my boyfriend. I felt abortion was my only option to get rid of all those negative feelings and to protect my reputation and my parents. Abortion was the only way out of my situation, or so I thought back then. 

 

How did you feel after you had an abortion? 

 

I knew the moment it happened that I did something terribly wrong. I knew that I took the life of my baby. My heart ached so bad that day. I quickly found out that the abortion didn’t cure all the negative feelings when I was in a crisis pregnancy, the abortion made it worse. Instead of covering my guilt and shame; my abortion added to it. Oh, how I wished I could go back and make a different choice that day. If only I would have trusted God and not worry about what other people thought of me so much and reached out for help. 

 

What impact did the choice of having an abortion have on you? (emotionally, mentally, relationally, spiritually) 

 

My abortion affected every aspect of my life. The memory of my abortion is hard to erase, and the pain in my heart can sometimes be overwhelming. After my abortion, I kept it a secret for 36 years. I experienced anxiety, grief and sadness, regret and sorrow, guilt, self-hatred, feelings of isolation, fear that others would find out, tensing up when abortion was mentioned. I felt I was too far from God, but I didn’t want to be. While in college some girls in my dorm loved me enough to tell me the Gospel, the Good News of Jesus Christ who died for my sins and if I trusted in Him for the promise of forgiveness of my sins then He would forgive me. I trusted Him for my forgiveness that day and the shame and guilt lifted and I had peace in my life. But, as time went on, I still struggled with my abortion. Until I took a study from Healing Hearts Ministry called Binding Up The Brokenhearted  I was still just coping with life. This study took me through the Bible and I learned more about God. 1 John 1:9 says, “that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I had regrets and pain from my abortion but I finally realized that I needed to trust God for forgiveness even from my abortion. I believe now in God’s promise and I am so thankful for His mercy and grace in my life.  

 

What would I say to someone who is currently thinking of having an abortion? 

 

You are not alone. From my personal experience abortion causes many emotional, behavioral, and physical manifestations later in your life. Abortion did not help my crisis but it took an innocent life and hurt me as a Mom. No matter how bad things look right now; there are other options that you could choose for you and your baby.  When a woman has an abortion, it is the woman that has to live with that decision, so do not let anyone convince you to have an abortion. I would share my regret that I didn’t trust God and that I was more worried about my reputation than the life of my baby.  

 

What would you say to someone about connecting with a pregnancy center for support? 

 

You do not have to walk this road alone. Pregnancy centers, such as Lifeline, offer non-judgmental support. The centers can show you different options for you and your baby. They will value both you and your baby. They can come alongside you and help in providing support for you and the baby, even after the baby is born. A lot of churches support pregnancy centers and would love the opportunity to support you and the baby. When I found myself in a crisis pregnancy, my brain felt like it was in a blender, making the situation worse than it actually was. I wish that I would have went to a pregnancy center and asked for help when I could only see that the way for me was abortion.  

 

If you are considering an abortion, we are here to help. Schedule an appointment to meet with our team to learn more about all your pregnancy options.